Who Does Not Know How To Love Himself, Will Not Know How To Love You

It is impossible to offer others what we lack. Think that if we are not able to feel love for ourselves, it will be difficult for us to have a healthy relationship with others. Loving yourself is the first step in developing a foundation of trust and stability with another person.

Loving yourself means giving yourself the opportunity to discover the great potential and greatness that you carry within.  It means being honest with yourself, committing to your well-being. In addition, loving yourself also implies being attentive to your own vital needs and accepting, respecting and loving ourselves for who we are.

When we stop judging ourselves, criticizing ourselves, comparing ourselves with others, demanding that we be different from who we are, we break with the preconceived idea that we have about ourselves. That idea that conditions our life and leads us to live unaware of an important and valuable part of our being.

Learn to love yourself

To be at peace with ourselves we have to stop demanding more of ourselves than we really are. Aspiring to improve in life and as people is an indisputable project that we all have to carry out, but it cannot install us in a state of constant anxiety in which we come to despise our essence.

It is positive that we learn to break with the false beliefs that condition our present. Only in the present can we act and live fully, and even if we do not have everything we dream of, we have the power to change it by acting according to who we are.  Fantasizing about what the past was or could be our future only takes us away from our reality. A reality that will never be the same as the one we dream of, but at least it is real.

Learning to love yourself is an endless journey that will come in many ways. But  self-esteem in a healthy way is the first step towards self-knowledge. We have to learn to think in a tighter way, leaving aside excessive criticism and unattainable perfection.

The attributions we make on ourselves condition our self-esteem. If we attribute all the achievements we have made in our life to external factors, such as luck or chance, and the failures we attribute to our internal characteristics, our self-esteem will suffer. Because of these kinds of unfair attributions to ourselves, we make it more difficult to love ourselves.

How to love others well

True love is not physical and erotic love, but wanting the good for someone, putting yourself in the place of the other. Sometimes feelings of intense desire, admiration, and emotional investment in another person make love difficult to understand. Most of us, on occasion, have confused what it means to love another person with owning or wanting to change another person.

To love others well, we have to base ourselves on altruistic ideas and behaviors.  Love for a person makes us want to help them develop their abilities, not the ones we would like them to have.

Seeking our happiness and feeling good about ourselves is not being selfish, but it is the most necessary and important condition to be able to establish a positive relationship with others. Over time we have realized that we cannot blame others for not being as we would like, and that is where the journey to love others well begins.