When You Are Your Worst Enemy

Have you ever had the feeling of being your own worst enemy? There is no doubt, living fully and achieving the satisfaction of our longings on the way to a supposed happiness is not an easy task. In fact, we are talking about a mission with a beginning, but without an end.

On the one hand, there may be adverse environmental conditions: economic, labor, housing difficulties, etc. There may also be internal conditions, such as suffering from a disease, suffering some misfortune or directly imposing a level of demand on ourselves that at that moment we are not prepared to reach.

On the other hand, there is a more or less manifest competition with other people who are also possibly fighting to achieve the same ends. These people may be our enemies, but sometimes you are your own worst enemy.

People who have everything and are unhappy

Sometimes some lucky people who have a favorable environment and seemingly little difficulty in getting what they want feel unhappy. In principle, there are no obstacles or enemies. So what is the problem? What’s happening to them?

The obstacle may well have been generated by the person himself, when he becomes his own enemy by how he is judged or the goals that he sets. This is something that we have all done at some time, and that we will continue to do, hence we can intuitively understand the consequences of this self-imposed burden.

Often when this happens it is because self-love, caring for oneself, fails. Self-esteem fails. And this has nothing to do with selfishness. It is not about thinking: “I am above everyone and everything.” It is about thinking: “I deserve the same kind and understanding treatment that I use with others.”

The importance of judging ourselves objectively

Loving ourselves means recognizing our own worth and considering ourselves as important in life as anyone else. For many people this is not easy. They do not know how to judge themselves objectively.

People who do not judge themselves objectively extol the virtues of others and are capable of forgiving the greatest errors and defects of others. Instead, they are grossly unfair to themselves, demanding, and even cruel. They are their own enemies.

This behavior can produce deep bitterness that leads to depression and neurotic behavior. You have to know how to assess yourself objectively and not compare yourself with others. Only in this way will we remove the enemy from our own person.

Being your worst enemy can be the result of your learning

In general, this way of being and feeling is the result of learning and a special maturation. The child, from birth, is, by nature, egotistical. He does not yet have a social conscience and thinks that everything around him belongs to him or happens in relation to him.

This idea is corroborated by the fact that he is usually the center of attention. It is later when, through education and contact with other children, he discovers that there are more people around him. He discovers that, like him, these people deserve respect and consideration.

It is normal for a person who grows up and forges his character with this philosophy as a banner becomes an adult with a confusion between what is rightly his and what would be reprehensible selfishness. To avoid terrible feelings of guilt, choose to deny yourself any meritorious self-recognition. He behaves as if he were his own enemy to whom he does not give margin or opportunity.

On the other hand, some moral and religious educations highlight humility as one of the most precious virtues, threatening its lack with punishment and sin. What’s more, they mercilessly punish anyone who dares to stand out. A personality that matures in this line of conduct tends to set very inflexible limits, considering that there is only one good way to proceed for everything.

You can stop being your worst enemy

To defeat our internal enemy, the first step is to become aware that the problem exists. Let’s observe our daily behavior and the dynamics of our thoughts. Let’s see how many times we deprive ourselves of small pleasures thinking that this does not suit us or that we do not deserve them.

Let’s start there, by encouraging our minimal achievements and positive efforts with small prizes and compliments. Perhaps, without realizing it, one day we will find ourselves struggling to achieve the most important thing that we want and that, in fairness, we deserve.