Three Strategies To Enhance Resilience, According To Lucy Hone
Dr. Lucy Hone is Director of the New Zealand Institute for Wellbeing and Resilience. He lived a huge drama firsthand: the death of his daughter. This allowed him to see life from a new perspective and this is how he formulated his three strategies to enhance resilience.
Lucy Hone says there are times in life when each day is seen as a mountain to be climbed, despite fatigue. The first thing that is observed when waking up is that uphill and daily doubts about whether to give up or not. That’s when Lucy Hone’s Three Strategies for Building Resilience can work.
His little daughter died when she was 12 years old in a car accident. It was a huge pain for Lucy Hone. Still, that situation gave him the opportunity to test all three resilience-building strategies in practice. After verifying that they worked, he shared them with everyone.
1. Ordinary magic, one of the strategies to enhance resilience
The first of the strategies to enhance resilience is to resort to ordinary magic. What is this? Lucy Hone defines it as the sensitive and deep perspective that is born when you go through a particularly difficult time.
All human beings change when faced with adversity. The difference between one and the other lies in the point of view that is adopted. In principle, personal pain is assumed as a kind of discrimination. “Life has put me in this place.” However, a little digging reveals that calamities happen to all people, to a greater or lesser extent.
This is a magical moment in which each person feels part of humanity and experiences it in a special way. If there is something that unites us as a species, it is that vulnerability to pain, the awareness that we all suffer at some time. Being aware of this makes us more human and strengthens the bonds we have with others.
2. Tune in to the good
Attunement to the positive is also part of ordinary magic and is one of the strategies to enhance resilience. In adverse situations, what is known as a negativity bias usually prevails. It consists of paying more attention to everything that is bad and, many times, giving it more importance than it has.
Tune in to the good is to do the reverse process. It is not just about looking for and finding the positive that there is in difficult moments, but about connecting emotionally with it. To achieve this, you have to look at it in detail and discover all the good it brings.
It is a personal choice and a decision. At a certain point, it is resolved to focus attention towards the positive and not to give up that endeavor. You also choose to appreciate it at its true value. Lucy Hone says that over time this has an extraordinary effect on people. Not only does it relieve pain, it becomes a seed of optimism and hope, which is critical to building resilience.
3. Thoughts that help or hurt
The third strategy for building resilience has to do with constant self-observation. It is normal that in unfortunate moments we tend to pessimism, as well as to bring to mind other difficult episodes that have marked our lives. It is a dynamic that occurs naturally, but it is important to resist.
The way to do this is by continually observing ourselves. Hone proposes to ask a question frequently, especially in front of the important issues: Does this I am thinking contribute to my purpose of overcoming the pain?
That question helps, for example, to be more good to ourselves. Lucy Hone says that many times people fall into the trap of hiding their feelings or demanding more than they can give. With the aforementioned question, it is possible to put a limit to those attitudes that, in reality, end up doing a lot of damage. That is why it is worth repeating the same question over and over again.
Dr. Hone also says that along with the three strategies for building resilience, it is also important to keep in mind that no one does it alone. It is important to learn to ask for help and accept it when someone gives it. It is also convenient to remember that others exist and not lock ourselves in our own pain.
