The Tough Decision To Forgive
Forgiving is a liberating act, very powerful, but also very difficult to carry out. We are not always willing to forgive, which makes it an even more valuable act.
There are many circumstances that lead us to personify someone. Perhaps they have disappointed us, perhaps they have not done something wrong … Of course, sorry implies many more things than we think.
The fact of not accepting someone’s forgiveness implies that we generate feelings of resentment towards the other or other people. This is not beneficial for us since we will be faced with a series of negative emotions that we will not know how to manage.
On many occasions, we think that forgiving another person implies agreeing with them. That’s not true. Forgiveness does not imply agreeing with the other, it means freeing yourself from the bonds of bitterness.
Furthermore, forgiveness is a totally personal and independent decision. If you have made a mistake, you ask for forgiveness; If you feel bad about something negative you have done, you ask for forgiveness. It is up to the other person to grant you that forgiveness or not. Of course, this must be sincere.
To understand a little more what forgiveness really consists of, forgive another person who has done something negative and regrets, it is necessary that we know something more about this “disinterested” action.
Today you are going to discover what it really means to forgive someone, without harboring any hatred, but also without forgetting. Accepting the forgiveness of another person has to be an act that liberates us, but for this we must know it in depth.
Forgiving is not justifying the other
When we forgive we do not do so because of what the other did, that is, it is not a justification for their actions. Simply, forgiving the other person has more to do with your response than with what the other person has done.
Forgiving is not forgetting
People think that once they are forgiven everything is forgotten and this is not correct. It has been a difficult, bitter situation, one more experience that as such is not forgotten. But let’s not confuse this with resentment, because sometimes if we don’t truly forgive we can harbor this dark feeling.
When you forgive, even though you don’t forget, you feel an inner peace that frees you and makes you feel good. There is no room for resentment, nor for hatred. Everything is in balance.
To forgive is not to minimize, but to heal that pain
The goal of forgiving someone is to heal a pain that they have caused us and that inevitably hurts us. We are emotional beings and it is normal for things to hurt us. But if we forgive, it will be like releasing that someone we had prisoner and you will realize that that someone was you.
Forgiving is an act that makes you close the past
Sometimes we focus too much on past issues that prevent us from seeing our future and even less focusing on our present.
That is why when we forgive we do not harbor any resentment, although we will not forget, because we will close that past and look to the future. We will really release any negative emotions that we have, because it is normal for us to feel disappointment, pain, frustration, anger, and so on.
Do you know how to forgive? Not everyone is capable of this, since it is something that requires inner strength, the release of fears that we will fail again, to disappoint.
There will always be someone in your life who hurts you, be it your partner, your children, your family, your friends … Always, never forget it. That is why it is necessary that you learn to forgive, because you will have no choice but to accept that people hurt, even you yourself can do it to others (without wanting to, perhaps) and you will want to be forgiven.
Images courtesy of Kim Joone
