The Importance Of Good Communication

We usually listen or read about how important it is to maintain good communication, whether in the workplace, family, social or as a couple. Now, do we take into account everything that the communication process entails?

We do not always find the precise words, the way to make ourselves understood or to convey what we want to convey, even to transform what we think or feel into words. It is often a challenge for us. Sometimes, we even consider that it is not us, but our interlocutor who puts up a barrier so that our message does not reach them.

We are not aware of all the machinery that is part of our communication processes. We forget the importance of communicating with others clearly and simply, without thinking about the impact that our words and gestures can have.

We assume, we take for granted, we create personal hypotheses about events or people, we misunderstand, defame, add or remove details to the information that has reached us, etc.

As Paul Watzlawick, one of the greatest experts in human communication in his day, pointed out, people make great mistakes in this process, which completely diminishes our ability to reach agreements or consolidate relationships.

We create realities from language

We are like sculptors, who are creating or destroying the information that they originate or receive, based on their characteristics, experiences and peculiarities. Keep in mind that human beings create realities through our language.

When a person tries to convey an image, a feeling, a concept or an idea, the interlocutor will probably not receive the same. Have you thought about it? The cause of the vast majority of misunderstandings is when people think they are talking about the same thing, but their conception is totally different.

In this way, studies such as the one carried out by psychologists Celia Roberts and Val Wass, from King’s College London, show us that teaching communication skills is key in the training of all university students. Tomorrow, a professional with little competence in this area will not carry out his work adequately.

To create realities with greater meaning, meaning and closeness, we must stand up as effective communicators.

Keys to effective communication

There are couples who talk about love, but have different views of it. There are people who share a friendship, each having different characteristics. Have you ever thought that perhaps when you are talking or arguing with a person, you may have different visions or meanings about what you do not agree on?

In conversations with others, the word may be the same but the content is totally different. The surface and the depth may not have the relationship that you imagine. We must take into account what we say and how we do it, to obtain a more precise map of our communication with others.

According to Lamb, Hair and McDaniel, for communication to be effective the following processes must occur:

Active listening

It is common for people to speak without listening to what the other has to say. While the interlocutor is expressing his point of view, we are thinking about the next answer to give and making our speech the center of the conversation.

Another mistake is to listen and pay attention only to what you want, ignoring what does not interest us or what goes against our principles. It is as if we have a filter that only focuses on information that is consonant with our emotions and thoughts. In these cases, it is impossible to reach agreements or understandings with positions different from ours.

Empathy

Being empathetic implies being able to identify the feelings and thoughts of other individuals, and experience them as if they were our own. Empathy is essential in effective communication, as it facilitates mutual understanding.

If we want our message to reach the recipients successfully, it will be very useful to identify with the interlocutors. Knowing what they think, feel or think about the subject will lead to adequate responses in us.

Comprehension of non-verbal language

Non-verbal language (body gestures and postures) also convey a message. Paying attention to the body language of our interlocutors will help a lot to understand the message. Likewise, in all communication, the ideal is that our body and our words are in tune. Thus, we avoid causing confusion.

Assertiveness

One aspect of assertiveness is the ability to express our wishes in a friendly, frank, open, direct and appropriate way, without threatening others.

Skills to resolve differences

One way to do this is by being open to other points of view. If we are predisposed to impose our beliefs and not accept other perspectives, it will be difficult to achieve effective communication with anyone.

I respect

Hand in hand with what has been said above, it is important that we know that not everything that our interlocutors broadcast will be in tune with our positions. The ideal is to accept this reality and respect all the differences that we find. This implies not imposing our beliefs or opinions, and stimulating reflective and inclusive dialogue.

An opportunity to improve our communication and the emotional aspects of it can be found in the course “Improve your communication” by Javier Cebreiros available on our platform, which takes us into the wonderful universe of communication and provides us with various strategies.

In the following video we can get an idea of ​​the importance of good communication in a beautiful love story:

Ask instead of guess

When we have a conversation with another person, it is essential that we ask the other what is or what does what we talk about means to him.

What is love for you? What is a relationship for you? What does it mean to you to be loyal or boring? What is happiness or sadness for you? And in the same way, we can also explain how we see it. Otherwise, we will only find ourselves assuming that the other shares our vision of the world or that they think like us. And this, would it be a lot of coincidence, right?

We would avoid many conflicts and misunderstandings if instead of assuming, we had asked our interlocutor beforehand what he meant by his idea or approach …

Each one carries on his back his education, his experiences, his training, his personal characteristics, so that we always share similar opinions or feelings. They are our own glasses with which we feel, interpret, think and act on the world. And each of us wears a different model.

We communicate through stories

Why not think that what we communicate is as if it were a story ? What I communicate to you is as if it were a story, the events lived from my experience, a version and what you understand is another version based on your characteristics. You listen to me, but based on your peculiarities that is how you understand me.

Or is it that you have not realized that sometimes, when we have told someone something and this person has communicated it to another, they do not transmit exactly the same as us? Each person points out what is important according to their experiences. That is why each person is responsible for communicating their own story.

When we say that the other is not right, what we really mean is that they do not think the same as us. Or not? Think about it …