The Difference Between Wanting And Loving Explained By The Little Prince

Loving and loving are both wonderful feelings, but undoubtedly different.  What is the difference? It is taught to us by The Little Prince , based on the idea that we all (or almost all) have a firm and intangible purpose in our life: to love someone with all our strength.

We think about this and we fervently desire it for the simple fact that we think that the achievement of these goals leads us to happiness. We are not wrong in thinking that healthy attachment is essential to travel our world.

However, for various reasons, we end up confusing wanting with loving and vice versa. As a consequence of this confusion  we fill our emotional backpack with false “I love you” and empty “I love you”.

The emotional wisdom contained in the dialogues in The Little Prince

A wonderful literary recreation based on The Little Prince  of Saint-Exupéry provides us with a powerful teaching on this question. Let’s read this passage carefully in order to shed light on this powerful emotional reality that affects almost all of us at one point or another in our lives.

“—I love you,” said the Little Prince.
“I love you too,” replied the rose.
“But it’s not the same,” he answered, and then continued, “To want is to take possession of something, of someone.” It is seeking in others that which fulfills personal expectations of affection, of company. To want is to make our own what does not belong to us, it is to own or desire something to complete ourselves, because at some point we recognize ourselves as lacking. “

Wanting is waiting, it is sticking to things and people from our needs. So when we don’t have reciprocity there is suffering. When the dear “good” does not correspond to us, we feel frustrated and disappointed.

If I love someone, I have expectations, I expect something. If the other person does not give me what I expect, I suffer. The problem is that there is a greater probability that the other person has other motivations, since we are all very different. Every human being is a universe.

When a person says that he has suffered for love, in reality he has suffered for wanting, not for loving. You suffer from attachments. If you really love yourself, you cannot suffer, because you have expected nothing from the other. When we love we give ourselves without asking for anything in return, for the simple and pure pleasure of giving. But it is also true that this surrender, this selfless giving, only occurs in knowledge.

The meaning of loving

We can only love what we know, because love implies jumping into the void, entrusting life and soul. And the soul is not compensated. And knowing yourself is precisely knowing about you, your joys, your peace, but also your anger, your struggles, your mistake. Because love transcends anger, struggle, error and is not only for moments of joy.

To love is the full confidence that whatever happens you will be there, not because you owe me anything, not with selfish possession, but to be, in silent company. It is knowing that the weather does not change you, nor the storms, nor my winters.

To love is to give you a place in my heart so that you stay as a couple, father, mother, brother, son, friend and to know that there is a place for me in yours. Giving love does not exhaust love, on the contrary, it increases it. The way to return so much love is to open your heart and let yourself be loved.

“” Now I get it, “she replied after a long pause.
It’s better to live it he advised the Little Prince “

Another precious explanation related to the difference that we speak of is the one that the Buddhist teachings offer us. In them it is wisely stated that if you love a flower, you pluck it to have it with you, and if you “love” a flower, you water it every day and take care of it.

To love is to accept the other completely

Ultimately, when we love someone, we accept them as they are, we remain by their side and we seek to leave traces of happiness and happiness at all times. Because feelings to be pure and intense have to come from deep within.

For this reason, it is essential to do an inner work exercise and ask ourselves if we are doing it well, if we are managing our attachments and our feelings well or, on the contrary, we are confused by the desire to put lasting and profound words to our relationships.