Ten Ideas To Improve Communication With Your Partner
Communication is one of the most important elements of a couple, and whether it works well or badly will be a sign of the satisfaction that each member feels with the relationship. Thus, good communication with your partner is a guarantee of a satisfactory relationship with a future, while poor communication practically ensures the not-too-distant failure of a couple.
In this sense, the content of the communication is as important as the way it is transmitted and the context in which it is transmitted. It is not the same to say a fool with an angry face and screaming than with a seductive look and in a whisper. On the other hand, it is not the same to say: you are a disaster !, to say: honey, again be more careful with your shoes when you have stepped on the grass.
Therefore, it is important to take into account some fundamental aspects when communicating with our partner. Among them we can highlight the following:
1. In communication with your partner you should not assume
We have a bad habit of assuming what the person with whom we are interacting is thinking and feeling. Do you really think it’s going to be as simple as guessing? For many years of relationship that unite you, no one has the power to read the minds of others …
Ask and ask when you do not understand what your partner wants to say to you, you have doubts or the message you receive feels a bit strange. Assuming you can lose a lot, asking nothing.
2. Do not interpret
Our language does not need interpretation. The translation is for those who do not speak Spanish. Interpretations are subjective and are colored by the meaning you give them and probably when you do it you are based on your beliefs and emotions.
When our partner says something to us, we must make sure that we have understood their perspective instead of adding ours to their message. Therefore, again the best option in these cases is to ask so as not to color the information with our vision.
3. Don’t listen
We usually talk without listening, even thinking that we really do, or have you not realized that while the other person is talking to you, you are thinking about what you are going to say to them later?
In addition, it is not only that you do not find out the message when you are not listening, but that when the other person realizes it, they will not feel understood and validated by you, perhaps thinking that they have been wasting their time. Therefore, practicing active listening will improve our relationship as a couple.
4. Don’t go back to the past
What happened in the past has to stay where it happened. Resorting to past damages and mistakes our partner made will only make the argument go further. You have to know how to discriminate between what has happened now and what has already happened and if there are pending issues, they can be dealt with at another time.
5. Pause
If you feel angry or stressed, stop. Ask yourself, what evidence do I have that what I think is true? Communicating while we are in an irritable mood will only be an obstacle in our relationship.
It is better to pause, relax or calm down and start talking when we are calmer. In this way, we will avoid misunderstandings and growing conflicts that may affect our relationship.
6. Remember the purpose of the communication
Sometimes, when we argue or talk with someone, we lose the objective of what we wanted to convey. It is not bad to provide details but neither to go around the bush, losing the thread of our conversation.
It is recommended to be clear about what you want to talk about, to have a common thread in communication with your partner so as not to get lost in absurd ramblings or that have little to do with the main topic.
7. Be empathetic
Being empathetic refers to putting yourself in the place of the other, taking them into account and understanding them. In a relationship, it is a fundamental aspect to communicate because it allows us to take into account what the needs and perspectives of the other are on any subject and not just our own.
8. Do not customize
It may be that at some point he is not telling something and we believe that he may be referring to us indirectly. The important thing in these cases is not to assume. But what if the other tells us something that we do not like or expresses what he likes and does not agree with what we think?
Personalizing that what our partner says is because they do not like us or because they are after us is not the best thing to do. Just as it is not when we have to say something to refer to their way of being, but it is better to refer to the behavior or specific aspect that has bothered us.
9. Know when and where to communicate
Not all places or times are ideal to talk about certain topics. Therefore, in communicating with your partner it is important to analyze what you want to say and when will be the best time to do it, as well as to take into account how the partner is.
10. Have good intentions in our conversations
Finally, there is perhaps the last ingredient and probably the most important: intention. When you speak to your partner, do so with the intention of building, with the desire that when you finish speaking the other will feel better because surely you will receive the same instantly, as if it were a mirror.
There is no use going to hurt because you do not gain anything with that. Forget the resentment and bad intentions in communicating with your partner, if you are angry take a break and leave the conversation for another time. Do not cloud your intentions with grudges, pride or unreason, spread them of well-being, growth and serenity.
An opportunity to learn to communicate and handle emotional aspects in your conversations and relationships with others can be found in the course “Improve your communication” by Javier Cebreiros, which will introduce you to the wonderful universe of communication, providing you with strategies and resources.
