Self-esteem And Ego, Which One Are We Left With?

Self-esteem and ego could be considered as two sides of the same coin. People who have good self-esteem tend to have their ego under control; while those with an overflowing ego tend to have low self-esteem. The funny thing is that what we see on the outside has nothing to do with what happens on the inside. Who would believe that someone with an ego could have low self-esteem?

Concepts such as false self-esteem enter this aspect, attempts to mask all that pain that we feel inside and that we are ashamed to want to externalize and many other circumstances that cause people to move between these two faces: self-esteem and ego.

False self esteem

There are people who seem to have a high level of self-esteem, but deep down, they have a strong egocentricity and low self-esteem. They confuse the self-esteem and the ego. They talk about themselves and their achievements all the time and when things go wrong they often use external justifications without acknowledging their responsibility. These people basically have a great insecurity in themselves, which makes them tend to find a way to hide it.

Thus, they  tend to think that vulnerability is the same as weakness and they forget that, like everyone else, they can make mistakes and make mistakes. Therefore, this should not be a reason to feel bad or threatened by what other people may think of them.

Failure to take responsibility not only prevents them from making a self-criticism that allows them to be adaptive, but often also prevents them from feeling the need to apologize when they make a mistake.

People with a high and healthy self-esteem

On the other hand, people who have high self-esteem do not talk so much about themselves and their achievements, but they know how to listen and are happy with the achievements of others. They learn from them, from humility and without showing off, since, for them, achievements and mistakes are two sides of the same coin.

Thus, when they make mistakes they know how to ask for forgiveness and they do not justify themselves, but rather accept and learn from the mistakes they make. And this strengthens them, as they are improving and improving. They don’t let the ego take over. They know how to discern between self-esteem and the ego and set limits to the latter.

It is always good, from time to time, to reflect on ourselves to see: how we are acting and how we want to act. Thus, recognizing that we are not perfect is the first step to achieving high self-esteem, since, when we make mistakes, we can get up and learn from mistakes.

It is also a good thing to record how we feel when we achieve an important achievement. Usually we are going to be proud and we are going to feel happy, but at this point it is important that that pride is healthy, that we do not feel omnipotent and the center of the universe, but that we learn that achievements facilitate the path to healthy self-esteem. However, if we believe we are more than we are, we can fall into the clutches of the ego. This is how we confuse self-esteem and ego.

Final reflection

In the movie El Guerrero Pacífico,  the wise man tells the young man something that we must remember permanently, “you are not better than anyone, but neither less”. This speaks of a high and healthy self-esteem. Know that we are not better or worse than others, but different. Knowing ourselves with different talents will help us develop a high level of self-esteem and forge better relationships and a happier life.

Confusing self-esteem with having an ego through the roof is not strange. The main difference is that healthy self-esteem leads us to relate to ourselves in an appropriate way. While our ego can cause us bad havoc due to our lack of self-criticism, self-centeredness, pride and emotions derived from giving ourselves an excessive importance.

Without a doubt, opting for self-esteem instead of ego will bring us greater benefits. In this way, we will learn to know each other in such a way that we can learn from mistakes instead of justifying ourselves. We will be aware of our strengths and our limitations. Humility and simplicity will be part of us. Ultimately, the relationship with ourselves will be much more functional and fruitful.

Have you ever confused self-esteem and ego?