Pocketing: When Your Partner Hides You From Others

Currently, there are many new terms that are appearing related to new technologies and that are being noticed on social networks. Today we are going to deal with one of them, which although its name may seem like something new, it has been with us for longer than we think: pocketing .

This term refers to when your partner hides you from others. For example, he does not introduce you to his friends, he always finds an excuse when you propose to make plans with other people or if he meets an acquaintance on the street, he creates distances so as not to explain who you are. Now why does he do it? What are your intentions?

Where does the word pocketing come from ?

The word pocketing comes from the English pocket and means ‘pocket’, adding -ing we have the meaning of the action, which would be “ pocketing or putting in the pocket ”. This applied to couple relationships refers to when your partner hides you from the people in his circle or environment.

Pocketing practitioners go beyond avoiding that dreaded moment of meeting their partner’s parents. As the psychologist and life coach Ana Jovanovic explains: “ Pocketing is a situation in which a person you are dating avoids or hesitates to introduce you to their friends, family or other people they know, in person or on social networks. , even though you’ve been dating for a while. Your relationship seems non-existent in the public eye . “

In short, on a public level, your relationship does not exist, it is hidden and it is only visible when you are alone. Some attribute it to the fact that it is a way of creating space and distance in the relationship, hence the meetings tend to be alone and of course out of public or crowded places.

I like you, but I’m hiding you: What’s behind pocketing ?

There are many factors to take into account about pocketing , since there is no clear reason why people practice it. However, some of them may be:

• Having recently left a relationship and thinking that it is too fast to include yourself in the circle of loved and close people. The cause is probably the fear that it will not work and that later the breakup will be more painful.

• Another reason may be that her environment has a completely different image of her than you have and that makes her not want to show all her “faces”.
• It may also be that you like to be in a relationship on the sly. Having the feeling of risk to be discovered makes you feel good.
• Perhaps cultural or religious reasons have something to do with it .
• Or it may be that you are at a time in your life when you do not feel ready to tell the world that you have a partner.

Although we have exposed some reasons, the reasons for pocketing will depend on the situation in which each person finds himself, especially on an emotional level, and on his personal history.

Signs to identify pocketing

Some of the signs that could help you detect this type of situation are the following:

• Your partner never makes plans with you and with other people.
• He makes excuses why you can’t meet his friends and family.
• You usually meet in secluded, discreet or intimate places. 
• He doesn’t talk much about the people in his social circle.
• You do not appear on their social networks. 
• If you run into someone they know, they don’t usually introduce you and even push you aside.
• Your friends and family have never heard of you. 

If at any time you have been able to observe these signs, perhaps it is time to expose your doubts about it, talk about the relationship you have  and find out if the two of you are going in the same direction.