Love Is Not A Battle Of Power, But An Effort To Understand

Loving is not only wanting, it is above all understanding. This understanding implies communication, and the latter is what fails in most couples who attend psychology consultations. Communication in the couple determines, not only the quality of the relationship, but also an important part in our quality of life.

The planet is populated by couples who have lost their space of understanding and are forced into a vicious cycle of reproaches and negativity.  This makes them pay excessive attention to what bothers them about the other and what they would like to change in their way of being. Rather than trying to solve the problems that plague their relationship, they want their partner to conform to their wishes.

One of the greatest enemies of romantic relationships is taking for granted that if the other person loves us, they have to know what we want and need without us having to ask them. Think that good communication would save us the countless problems that occur in couples due to lack of understanding.

Our partner cannot and does not have to behave the same as us. Getting angry at everything she does without trying to understand her or constantly trying to change her is wrong. Although it is important to have a certain affinity, we do not have to think alike. Understanding this will help us to be much more understanding of each other, more tolerant and fair.

Before understanding your partner, get your thoughts in order

In couple disputes, we tend to focus so much on the negative details of our partner that we forget our presence. It is difficult to come to an understanding with our partner when we cannot even understand what happens to ourselves.

Taking a moment daily to reflect on our actions can be important to get to know each other in depth. Making an objective assessment of our behavior can improve our understanding of ourselves. Observing how we really are will give us a more truthful perspective of our weaknesses and strengths. 

Understanding what triggers our reactions can help us understand ourselves better. Starting to know and understand oneself can be an interesting starting point to begin to understand our relationship from another perspective and feel more integrated in it.

True love is born of understanding

Relationships can become a threat, especially when there are not very tolerant expectations regarding the behavior, character or details that the other should have. The normal thing is that  as the relationship matures, we learn to be tolerant of the other and accept them as they are. However, this is not always the case.

When dominance, possession and jealousy prevail in relationships, it is because selfishness has gained prominence. On the other hand, when tolerance and understanding prevail in couples, love will be the feeling around which all others are born. A love that, on the other hand, feeds on listening, freedom and the desire to share.

When we make an effort to listen and understand the other, we are putting aside our individualism to face as a couple the problems that arise. True love can rule when we accept “the other party” as someone who has their own personality and identity. 

When we are able to understand how our partner feels, we can draw on this understanding to guide our interactions with them. Think that love is not a union, not a fight.