How To Make Real Friends

Good friendships help improve all aspects of your life. On the one hand, they help to have a more joyful and comfortable life. On the other hand, friendly relationships help strengthen health and prevent loneliness and isolation. As we age, many of us struggle to make friends or maintain old friendships.

But work, family, and other commitments can make this difficult. Although making and keeping friends takes effort, it is an investment that makes life richer and more enjoyable. Whatever your age or circumstances, it is never too late to make new friends or reconnect with old friends.

What is a friend?

A friend is someone you care about and who also cares about you. Technology may have changed the definition of friend in recent years, but having hundreds of friends online is not the same as having a friend you can connect with to spend time in person.

However, friends made through social networks or other virtual means cannot hug each other when needed, nor can they visit each other in case of illness, or celebrate something important together. Thinking now only of the people we can connect with in person, it can sometimes be difficult to distinguish between true friends and those who are simply acquaintances.

We could say that an acquaintance is someone you know and with whom you chat from time to time on day-to-day issues. These relationships, in general, never advance beyond that, from merely knowing each other and knowing a little about the other, but without going deeper.

However, a friend with whom a higher level of interaction and communication is shared, with whom feelings are shared openly. Friends listen to each other without judgment, they support and accept each other and, above all, they are united by a bond of trust and loyalty.

Why is it important to have friends

The need for friends is adaptive. There was a time when survival depended on having friends to hunt and find food, to build housing and keep families safe, and to have company.

Today, good friends are just as important. They add a special meaning to life. With them you can enjoy the good times and overcome the difficult times. Good friendships, in addition to being a great source of fun and pleasure, are also important for physical and emotional health.

Good friends can help improve mood, achieve personal and professional goals thanks to their support and motivation, and reduce stress and depression thanks to their company.

In addition, good friends support each other in difficult times, helping to overcome situations of illness, losses, breakups, etc. In addition, as you get older, friends are a great support to overcome everything that age brings with it and help you live more fully.

Of course, friendship is a two-way street. On the one hand, being a good friend to someone, in addition to having all these benefits, increases one’s happiness and sense of self-worth. It also makes the person feel necessary and adds purpose to their life. Developing and maintaining a friendship takes time and effort, but the many benefits of having a close friend make it a worthwhile investment and worth the effort.

Make friends in adulthood

During childhood and adolescence, making friends is quite easy, but as we get older, each person evolves differently. As adults, we tend to be more and more reserved and have less time to share it with other people.

Many adults experience the need to make new friends because family and work commitments have caused them to lose contact with their old friends, or simply their lifelong friendships have been fading due to different circumstances.

To make friends, it does not matter the age or the situation, if you are an especially outgoing person or be the life of the party to make friends. The important thing to realize is that there are many people who feel uncomfortable relating the way many others do, and that a friendship is not forged during a night out or an occasional celebration that brings many people together.

Building a friendly relationship takes time. However, being willing to get in touch with new people in new surroundings is positive for meeting new people and taking the first step in building a friendly relationship.

Tips for making friends and building new friendships

If you find it difficult to make friends or build new friendships, here are some tips that can help you and help you take that first step that is costing you so much. Don’t be afraid to put them into practice. With initiative and willpower, you will soon have new friends around you.

1. Find places and situations where you can meet new people

Friendships don’t happen overnight, but there are some steps you can take to connect with another. For starters, it’s important to find places to meet new people, be open to new ideas, and cultivate personal interests with other people. It won’t always be successful, but it will often be fun and you can learn from experience.

Some ideas for this could be to participate in volunteer activities, join an association or join group classes, go for a walk, invite someone you know to drink or do something, share the trip to work, attend events and social gatherings, such as art gallery openings, book readings, lectures, music recitals, etc.

2. Participate in a conversation

Some people seem to instinctively know how to start a conversation with anyone, anywhere. Those who do not have that talent can follow the following ideas:

• Observe the surroundings and take advantage of any occasion to comment on something that happens or that is in that place (for example, “what beautiful views there are from here”, “have you tried this dish?” Or “I love this song, it brings me very good memories”).
• Asking an open question that needs an answer beyond yes or no (for example, “when did you arrive?”, “Why did you decide to dedicate yourself to this?” Or “what is this site like?”).
• Use a compliment to launch a question (for example, “I really like your dress, where did you buy it?” Or “It seems you’ve done this more times already, can you tell me where to go?”).

• Find something in common and make a comment about it (for example, “my children also went to that school, and I was very satisfied” or “I read that book a long time ago, it was very interesting to me).
• Actively listen and follow the other’s conversation.

If things don’t go well and the conversation stalls or ends earlier than expected, nothing happens either. Meeting new people implies suffering some rejection. But do not take it personally. You can always learn something positive from the experience.

3. Be a good friend

Making friends takes time. To make that happen, we must nurture the relationship with the people we know by dedicating time, effort and interest towards the other person.

To do this, you have to behave like the friend you would like to have yourself, listen carefully to the other, spend time with others and be indulgent with the other. In addition, it is essential to leave space, not to overdo the interest and not have very high expectations regarding the other or the friendship relationship.