Habits That Destroy Your Self-esteem

There are several factors that impair your ability to appreciate what you do and to value who you are. The most important of them is having grown up in the middle of a family environment where the self-esteem of its members was also low. Parents with a poor idea of ​​themselves generally transmit the same belief to their children.

Lack of self-esteem in parenting manifests as abuse, emotional and / or physical distance, excessive criticism, disqualification or indifference. There is no recognition of the child’s personal worth. Without realizing it, the little one learns that his feelings and needs are not more important to the beings that are the most important to him.

This situation triggers a series of associated events. Those who have little self-esteem are more exposed to abuse outside the home : they do not know how to defend themselves and are not sure they have the right to do so. They also tend to have a less than adequate level of performance in their jobs. You are more easily distracted and fearful of success.

In adult life, many continue to cultivate habits to cope with their lack of self-esteem. They are kind of distracting or emotional shields. Customs that seek to reaffirm their idea that they are worth little. Thus they build a wall of defense against their own vulnerability. Neither of these habits help. We will tell you immediately what some of them are.

Disqualify you

When you are the one who speaks ill of yourself, you are not doing yourself any favors. It is not a sign of humility or recognition of your mistakes. It is a mechanism that reveals a kind of autosuggestion.

But you are much more than everything they told you. You have many virtues and potentials to discover, you just have to start accepting and loving yourself to see yourself beyond the eyes of others.

Give absolute credit to what others say

You may feel that others “know more,” or “understand better,” or “have more authority” to say or do. Many times you do not stop to evaluate if what others say or do is correct, it is enough for you that they are the ones who say or do.

If you stop to think for a bit, you may find that this is not the case. Always try to connect with your true perception and value what you find.

Victimize you

In the face of difficulties, your response may be to feel sorry for yourself. You perceive yourself as a helpless child who must resign himself to negative situations, without being able to do anything about it.

You have not discovered that you have the resources to face adverse situations. That the important thing is not how bad it happens, but how we receive it and what course we give it. If you stopped complaining about yourself and started thinking about solutions, you would discover that even the worst moments are also great opportunities.

Demand more from you

Those who have little self-esteem tend to see life in terms of ideal models. It is difficult for him to set modest goals and assess the achievements. He is always thinking that he must achieve more and that what he has achieved may not be important. It is an unconscious trap to always be in debt to yourself.

If you do not have self-love, nothing you do will be enough or valuable. Your successes will be worth nothing compared to the achievements of others. But make no mistake, if you do not start by valuing yourself, it will not be so easy for others. Also, how are you going to appreciate yourself, if you are not able to applaud yourself when you move forward?

Image courtesy of Aykut Aydoğdu.