Emotional Self-awareness: What Does It Consist Of?

Emotional self-awareness is the ability that people have to connect and understand our emotional states. Something so easy to define is actually a very complicated dimension to carry out. Monitoring ourselves is not a task that we spend a lot of time on, we do not consider it important or even more so: we do it incorrectly.

Instead of reeling off the emotion felt, it is more cathartic to patch it up. An example of this is turning to food to relieve anxiety or discomfort or spending two hours with video games so as not to think about what hurts, what worries you. In this way, we gradually become true exiles from our emotional universe. In people who prefer to neglect them to face what they really want to tell us.

Thus, it is important to consider a small detail. High self-awareness is an indicator of psychological well-being. It is having the ability to know what is happening inside us and this is an extraordinary competence of emotional intelligence. Likewise, those who allow themselves to delve into that dimension are also enabled to understand the emotions of others.

What is emotional self-awareness for?

What we feel shapes the way we think and induces us to behave in such a way. Having this simple rule of three clear, we can deduce what it means to not connect, understand or dominate each emotion that controls us in each circumstance. Without emotional self-awareness, we often act on mere impulse, which leads to clearly misadjusted behaviors.

Now, within the field of social sciences, self-awareness is a psychological variable of great importance for mental health and for our daily performance. Research work such as those carried out by the Universities of Southern California and Hamburg in Germany, self-awareness is the ability to recognize one’s own existence.

Without it we could not reflect on ourselves, on our decisions, relationships and the way we understand the world. For this reason, it is also decisive that this dimension integrates the emotional aspect. As Daniel Goleman points out, it seems that this area is the least visible within the theory of emotional intelligence, however, it is decisive. Let’s understand why.

The need to stop operating in “autopilot” mode

Emotional self-awareness is decisive to have greater control over ourselves, over what we think, decide and do. In case of not exercising adequate control over this area, we will be acting on automatic pilot. That is, we will get carried away by everyday events without knowing how to act before them.

We will also limit ourselves to being slaves to our emotions, frustration, anger or sadness without knowing how to regulate them.

Mastering emotions to get what we want

Without emotional self-awareness we get carried away by stress, anxiety, anguish, constant worry … Nothing can be achieved when the mind wanders erratically and anchored to those emotional states. Without emotional self-control, there is no behavioral self-control, no motivation, and no achievement orientation.

The moment we make contact with what is happening inside us, we take care of ourselves in an appropriate way to regulate what we feel. Thus, the person who has a good command of his emotional self-awareness can guide emotions and thoughts towards the goals he sets.

Internal and external emotional self-awareness to better relate and potential self-esteem

In a research work at the IE University of Madrid, a study was carried out to evaluate the benefits of developing competencies based on emotional self-awareness in students. Something that could be seen is that not only did the achievement of goals improve, as we have already pointed out.

This dimension favors a better understanding of internal emotional states to optimize relationships with others. External self-awareness is one that allows us to connect with other people’s realities and act in harmony. Likewise, we are able to work creatively and productively, both individually or in groups, feeling proud of ourselves and raising self-esteem (Silvia and O’Brien, 2004).

How can I improve this competition?

Emotional self-awareness is not achieved by practicing yoga or doing meditation. We need stronger approaches to engage with on a daily basis. It is an exercise in constant dialogue with ourselves to monitor, know and control ourselves. Thus, and on average, the following strategies will help us:

• Connect with each felt emotion, give it space, acknowledge it and ask yourself why it is there. 
• Become aware of how these emotions affect your life, how you react, decide, relate … Assume if it would be a good time to make a change, to control and transform those emotional states so that they favor you in your daily life.
• Clarify your values, goals, and vital meanings. Are you in harmony with them? Do you act according to those principles or should you also improve some aspect?
• Learn to connect with the emotional realities of others to act in tune, with respect, with assertiveness.

To conclude, it is time to develop this psychological competence to the maximum. Being emotionally self-aware improves our social and mental well-being to become more competent and fulfilled.