Don’t Look For An Ideal Love, Build A Real Love

We all have in mind that without a doubt, is our ideal love. We attribute to that physical image a large number of values, of perfect features where the greatest of happiness would be hidden.

Dreaming is not bad, it injects us with part of that illusion that we all need to walk through this complex and sometimes difficult world. Now, when thinking about that love you need, do it with your feet on the ground and an open mind.

Do not set ideals that take you away at the same time from that close reality where authentic people live. Because there are no perfect loves, but people with virtues and defects that can harmonize with your needs and emptiness.

Do not look for an ideal love, build a real and conscious love. We invite you to reflect on it.

The pillars that build conscious relationships

You may have already heard of conscious relationships. They are, so to speak, the reverse of romantic or unconscious love. 

We know that many may be affected by the fact that we launch a sharp criticism of the concept of romantic love , but in this image there are actually a whole series of very dangerous dimensions for our affective balance:

• Romantic love symbolizes the idealization of the loved one, and the construction of attributes that do not correspond to reality.
• Romanticism or ideal love is the reflection of the most dangerous attachment, of the need to have and “possess” the other, as the only way to be happy.

• Real love does not mean that we cannot show affection, affection and care, it is about building a conscious love through a healthy relationship where there is no need for submission, or obsessive attachments.

The key would be to build links that work, that are harmonious with ourselves and where personal growth is respected, as well as that of the partner itself. Let’s now see how we can find and build an emotionally mature and conscious relationship:

1. Don’t look, become that kind of person worth being with first.

Do not be obsessed with setting yourself as a vital objective “to find the ideal person”, the perfect person:

Life is a continuous learning where everything counts, where every past relationship has left that experience and that memory that, after all, is part of you, but does not determine you. Your possible failures do not define you, they “teach” you to take new steps with more confidence.

• It is not about looking, but about letting go, always taking care of our self-esteem, knowing what we want, and moving away from what can harm us.
• Work on yourself every day, grow internally, enjoy who you are, the person who is reflected in your mirror. Your inner happiness, your balance and your emotional maturity, is the best gift you can offer to that couple, that chance, wants to bring you.

2. Work your personal and emotional balance

It is very possible that your heart already has some other failed relationship, with some other wound that still needs to be cauterized.

• After a failure or a break, it is necessary to regain the bond with ourselves. With who we are, with our needs and our inner voice. You have spent a lot of time with all your energies put on another person and it is time to prioritize yourself.
• Resolve your fear of loneliness or being abandoned. It is necessary to learn to be alone without this being something traumatic for you.
• With this, and by recovering your self-esteem, your self-love and that union with yourself, feeling good about who you are, what you have and what you have learned, you will stop showing gaps, lacks and needs that, somehow, always are expect others to cover or attend.

3. Being in love is easy, but building real love takes effort

There are loves that come unexpectedly and that trap us. They are, as we have pointed out at the beginning, inexplicable loves.

Now, no matter in what form it has arrived, the essential thing is that day by day the relationship is established with the pillars of respect, of the balance of forces, of that complicity that knows how to excite and understand.

Building a conscious love requires will on both sides, knowing how to fit “my corners with yours” understanding the differences and not only valuing everything that unites us.

Remember, stop looking for an ideal or perfect love. We are all imperfect beings striving every day to build a perfect life. And that’s what matters.