Being And Feeling Unfaithful: Guilt And Frustration
Feeling unfaithful can provoke different responses in people. But above all the appearance of feelings such as guilt or frustration. What common traits or feelings can we find in committing an infidelity?
Men and women in infidelity
According to numerous studies, men and women, in addition to having several points in common when committing an infidelity, also present some differences, especially in the aspect of feeling unfaithful.
For men, the feeling of infidelity is accompanied by guilt. For religious people, guilt takes on a rather important nuance, since it implies a situation of sin. But for others the guilt is linked to the social judgment of others about them.
The fear of losing a position at work to maintain an infidelity also carries guilt, even dedicating time and financial resources to a lover also generates this feeling. Maintaining an unfaithful relationship to men costs them money and time, in addition to costing them peace of mind.
In women, the reactions are different. Normally, infidelity is usually seen by women as a love affair, where they will only find moments of enjoyment. They feel like being reborn, feeling wanted and loved. At the beginning of the infidelity relationship, they perform all kinds of exercises and rituals to feel more beautiful and attractive, being able to go to the gym, hairdresser, beauty salons, they even like to buy clothes and try not to repeat a model. It is as if they began to reassess their self-esteem due to the seduction game in which they are involved, even if the other person has a partner.
Guilt and frustration
Little by little, for both men and women, the feeling of guilt is intrinsically accompanied by doses of anxiety and stress, becoming like other personality traits of the unfaithful.
Perhaps it is in men where anxiety can be managed over time, when they believe they have the situation under control, while the signs of anxiety in women are one of the indicators that most give them away. But to anxiety we can also add worries about the fear of being discovered, the fear of having children, that jealousy arises, etc.
Besides guilt, another common feeling in infidelity is frustration. The frustration of not being able to shout to the whole world that you love such a man or such a woman. Even the frustration of not being able to do everything they want at those times such as going to the movies, having dinner at a restaurant, taking a walk or taking a trip. It is true that many do, but always with the concern of whether they will recognize or discover them. This situation entails living in the shade, and waiting for the lover to break the formal bond with his partner.
We can get to hear comments from unfaithful people that the relationship of lovers is the “perfect” relationship for a couple, since they exercise love at all levels and it is not necessary to tolerate diseases, responsibilities, bad mood, lives in common etc. But on the other hand, infidelity carries consequences such as separations, divorces, or a loss of trust that is difficult to recover, somewhat diminishing the quality of the couple’s relationship.
Therefore, it is important to become aware of what is being done, and think about the repercussions that it may have, not only on ourselves, but on the people around us, and try to make the most appropriate decision.
