Don’t Want To Be Blindfolded By Unrealities

When it comes to talking about emotions, the most sensible thing is not to try to explain them because we already know that we cannot control them in all their essence. The only thing we can do is feel them, try to understand them, and mold them so that the ones that hurt us don’t. You do not want to explain what is born from within, just try to understand it.

In this sense, you know better than anyone that feeling of all or nothing: either you want it or you don’t want it, there can be no middle ground. In other words, any type of love demands its complete surrender to another person, but what we sometimes forget is that the surrender must also be towards ourselves: you do not want to forget about yourself while you love another person.

When you forget yourself what happens is that you start to want in a toxic way and, on many occasions, this causes you to want to also blindfolded. So  what happens is that you do not see reality, but what you imagine to be real : having a relationship in which this occurs implies not having a real relationship.

Nothing justifies that love

If you find yourself in the situation mentioned above with a family member, a friend, your partner … and you continue to maintain it, it is because you probably feel that reality is too harsh. If it surpasses you, it is also possible that you have preferred – even unconsciously – to live in parallel unrealities that do you less harm.

However, these conditions are not healthy at all. Remember that you are not a coward for being afraid, but you have to be brave and name your monsters : nothing justifies that love if there is no happiness involved. You have to convince yourself that you cannot allow yourself guilt of any kind, manipulation, victimization, attacks on your self-esteem …

Just as important is that you know that it is not lawful for you to let your spaces and your independence run out because that only causes lies and more lies, mistrust, disappointments and many unnecessary attitudes that, perhaps, the other person does not deserve, but neither do you .

You are who you are and you can be like that with whoever loves you

Above all, your emotions show you how you are at a certain moment, but they have to be in line with who you really are. And surely you do not want to be a sad person who is having a bad time, surely you do not want to be a cheerful person with a “facade”, you do not want to be happy as a lie. You want to be true, fulfill yourself and share it with others.

Therefore, the relationships that you maintain in your life and that are important to you should be based on the fact of letting yourself be who you really are and accepting yourself that way. In these relationships, reciprocity is important: at the same level is that they love you with everything and that you love everything; always keeping the limit of not attacking the space and the happiness of the other.

Remember that for you to truly want, you first have to be true to yourself and love yourself from acceptance.

Types of love that are a mirage

There are some types of love that are a mirage, they are unreal and do not allow us to become ourselves. On the contrary, these types of love, instead of helping us to grow, limit us. Here we show you what they are:

• Love that seeks to cover personal gaps: no one has a duty to “fill you up” or vice versa. That is, you have to fill your life, you have to learn to be happy independently so that later relationships are real. Love is not sought, it comes because when you seek it you need it to fill existential gaps that you need to fill yourself.
• Relationship of two : love, of any kind, is always the business of everyone involved in a relationship. The moment one part fails, the relationship is failing as well. Do not want to half or at times, be faithful in your feeling.

• Co-dependency : it is clear that spaces and independence are absolutely necessary in any type of relationship. Co-dependency only produces toxic relationships that go nowhere. You do not want to think that without your partner you are nobody, because you are still there for you.
• Idyllic : love based on idealizations is not real love either. You need to love your virtues but also all your defects. It is important that you learn to be happy with them without too much effort.
• Each story is different : a love that compares itself to others to justify itself is a love based on mirages, mistakes and the past.
• Passive-aggressive communication : love that does not have communication or that has communication but is aggressive is not real love either. It is about sharing, understanding and wanting to understand each other, listening and supporting each other even if you don’t agree.