2 Consequences Of Yelling At Our Children

Reflecting on the consequences of yelling at our children can help us control and manage our impulses. Analyzing where these screams come from and what they cause in the family circle  is key to changing this behavior once and for all.

We all know the importance of educating our children with respect. In addition, there are many resources and tools so that you do not need to punish or yell at them. Still, at times when we feel overwhelmed, we may have the urge to yell at our children. These situations make us feel guilty, bad parents, and frustrated.

However, some parents do not realize the negative consequences that can be derived from this type of behavior. In this article we will talk about two of the most dangerous for the development of your adult life. Let’s go deeper.

1. Yelling at our children can affect their self-esteem

The screams convey a message of little patience and tolerance. When we are desperate for something we tend to raise our voice and cry out for things. But yelling at our children can send the message that they are doing the wrong thing. This, while intending for them to obey us, makes them feel that they are not living up to our expectations.

When the situation is constant, children are given the wrong idea. They may come to believe that whatever they do, they won’t do it right. That we will never be satisfied, and that they will not be able to do anything to make us happy. The feeling of not doing the right things and of deserving the shouts is likely to accompany our children throughout their lives.

The foundations of our children’s self-esteem come from outside. Their reference figures, with love and approval, have to make them feel like they can do anything. This does not mean that we have to convey false confidence to them; sometimes they need to be frustrated. However, it is important that our expectations of them are in accordance with their age and knowledge. And above all, we have to realize that our children are not perfect.

Being understanding with our children

It is very common, for example, to yell at our children in the morning when we are in a hurry to take them to school. However,  we cannot expect children to do homework as fast as we do. Your speed will depend on your age and your degree of autonomy; we may have to give them a hand to get there on time.

If we leave little time for them, or ask for something above their skill level, it is normal that they cannot complete their tasks. Then we will end up screaming, making them feel like they can’t. The message children receive in these situations is  that we do not love them because we consider them little valid.

We have to remember that  our mission is to help them until they are more autonomous. In this way, we foster real self-confidence. Over time, this can cause our children to act in the right way: respecting their parents, helping at home, or cleaning their room. However, they will not do it out of fear. Their actions will come from understanding their role and believing that they are capable of doing things for themselves.

2.- Yelling teaches them to deal with their emotions in the wrong way

We must be the example of our children. When we scream and constantly lose patience, this implies that there are situations that overwhelm us. The message we convey to them is that we are unable to control ourselves. Youngsters learn that yelling is an appropriate response to stress. They absorb this way of acting, and are likely to emulate it in the future.

It is our responsibility, therefore, to learn to deal with our emotions. Although we feel fear, fatigue or anger, we have to control ourselves in front of the little ones. Yelling at our children due to the stress we experience only teaches them that anger is motivation enough to treat others badly.

It is not our fault of theirs that we feel upset or distressed every time they take a step. As much as it may cost us, it is important to encourage them to explore and discover who they really are. Our role is to accompany them on their adventures while we tolerate our distress. We need to discover where our negative emotions come from.

Perhaps we need them to behave as we would like us, and not as they really are. Perhaps we are too afraid that they will hurt themselves or suffer. However, yelling at our children to protect them or direct their actions is usually not a good idea. More effective will be to trust that things will work out for them because they are capable of taking care of themselves.

conclusion

In this article, you have discovered two of the most negative effects of yelling at our children. Because of how damaging this behavior can be, it  is the duty of parents to learn to control their emotions. They can also learn more effective ways to resolve problems and conflicts.

However, if you’ve ever yelled at your kids, you don’t need to punish yourself for it. Nobody is perfect; The important thing is that, now that you know the serious consequences that this way of acting can bring, you decide to change.